Angst and Being

To be is an incredible minute by minute way to live and I started a conversation post to share it with you. But last week I ran flat into its opposite.The space where nothing seems right. I’ll bet you know that place too! Suddenly I was where nothing I do is clear, no one understands the power and importance of Spirit Moxie, the book that I think I want to publish isn’t useful, and I am probably fat and ugly to boot. Nope. Not a place to “just be.” 

Oh, I’ve been working on all of the “be” pieces for over a year now so I knew this wasn’t true. But even with breathing and intellectual appreciation, old habits stopped by. Self-indulgence. Self-doubt. Feeling vulnerable…

I’ve been writing a book to explain Spirit Moxie. No, I have written a book to explain Spirit Moxie. And FYI, the book’s working title is Mattering. A book to encourage anyone who thinks that what they do doesn’t matter. And to support those (like you) that know their day to day actions do matter, but still welcome encouragement and challenge. It’s been read by a friend in Maine. It needs serious editing. And a title.

Hand writingSo last week I met with my friend Linda for a brainstorming session to begin the process of naming the book. (You met Linda in “Moxie and Miracles” as the librarian who only appears to me at work when I need her. ) After a great hour or so we came up with:

1) Make a Difference: merely matter
2) Merely Matter: a simple guide for your every day

We liked the alliteration of “merely” with“matter” and how “merely” implies how easy and basic making a difference can be.

The next day I shared these options in three different places on Facebook: 1) the Spirit Moxie page; 2) my personal feed; 3) a private group for creatives curated by the incomparable Samantha Bennett and The Organized Artist Company. There were three very different responses.

On the Spirit Moxie page, people mainly just voted (mostly for #2) or made alternative suggestions such as Mattering: a guide for your every day, Matter, and What Matters? 

On my personal page there was an intense discussion of the word “merely,” which was seen as implying “minor” and “unimportant” to one respondent. Which then promoted a debate that “minor and unimportant” was, perhaps, the point and for another prompted the poem shared towards the end of this conversation.

figure dancing with clockBut the most revealing conversation was in the private group where it was very clear that despite my explanations not only didn’t the title work at all for someone who hadn’t heard about the vision of Spirit Moxie, but that the idea of mattering wasn’t obvious and by implication a book wouldn’t have an audience if it had that focus much less benefit by having the word in the title. OK. So I’m exaggerating.  Slightly. While humbled by the scope and intensity of the answers and versed enough in criticism and “being” to appreciate the input, I was, being merely human, and shall we say “disheartened.”

My internal dialog went something like, “No one really wants the insights of Spirit Moxie. And while people say that helping people see how they make a difference is exciting, in print it’s confusing and useless. This will never work. There’s no way to respond. Etc.”

BedDoes any of this sound familiar? So I went to bed. As soon as I lay down my mind said, “You need to write about this. The heck with a gentle post about the day by day – this is about ‘angst’ and people need to know this happens.” Somehow I didn’t jump up and start writing. Sleep. “Sleep” is actually one of the topics in “the” book as one of the things that changes the world and perhaps I should practice what I, as they say, preach. Finally I slept.    

So what is the point of this? Even being in the day to day, angst, despair, whatever will creep in. But breathe. Like it all. For anything appearing this way is just information. Yes, despite all of the above, all I’ve been told is that I/we need a title. And we know that.

Where does angst creep in for you? Is it simply information?

And then there’s the word “merely” which prompted this response from Spirit Moxie follower Brian Johnson:

‘Merely’ a snowflake helped move tons of snow,
     fed rivers with life,
helped seasons come and go.

‘Merely’ a smile, a hug, a kiss, a hand to hold…
     brought hope to the paining,
the lost lonely souls.

‘Merely’ a step closer, to extend a loving hand,
     bring back and heal family, universally
distributed throughout the lands.

Help overcome darkness by bringing the light,
     of selflessness, caring, sharing
and ‘mere’ might. ♡

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. - Helen KellerSo in summary: The above title suggestions don’t grab a lot of people. The reason for the book is that people are confused about the need and importance for claiming their every day actions. Most people like the name “Spirit Moxie.”  As I wandered through this I came up with one more suggestion:

Moxie Moves: 10 ways to change the world or 10 ways to make a difference.

But I/we need your suggestions. That’s how little things work  So leave a message here,  call me for a drink or a walk, or rant in an email. For the whole Spirit Moxie premise is that we can only do this together.

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Image credits from the top:

Brainstorming session — Spirit Moxie
Logo for Tango with Time created through Organized Artist Company connections
by Jazlyn James during the above “angst”
Bed — David A. Lynch
Helen Keller quote in Main Library of Public Library of Cincinnati and Hamilton County —
Spirit Moxie

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